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| Mosher's Unimaginatively Entitled Blog | ||
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| --**-- The Blog Without A Fucking Annoying Tagline --**-- | ||
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| Quote of the Moment: | ||
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| Email contributions for QotM to Weblog@moshville.co.uk. If I like 'em, I'll use 'em! | ||
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Friday, April 30, 2004 | |
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Cheers to Chris for bringing this one to my attention. I love the way he defends himself saying his driving was safe and then just drops back into the same public relations bullshit he's been feeding people for far too long now. | |
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OK, you know the way your mind works when you're in a state of semi-consciousness? The way something just floats into view and synapses just spark, linking old obscure memories together? Then, if you're really sad you decide just to post them on your blog? Today's obscure thread is... segs. Does anyone else remember these? I'd expect the ones of around 30 and over to perhaps have heard of them. Basically they were steel toecaps for the outside and underside of shoes. Little plates of steel with spikes in that you hammered into your footwear so that they made a clacking noise as you walked. Utterly useless for assassins, teachers, mothers or anyone else who's day-to-day life required stealthy movement. I found one once, just lying on the pavement. I had one seg. How sad is that? *clack* *thud* *clack* *thud*. One seggy foot, one leathery one. They've not been around for years. I suspect it's for safety reasons. A good kick with a seg on concrete would raise sparks. I can just imagine someone "putting a tiger in their tank" (another weird advertising slogan for Esso in the 80's. I never figured that out. Surely the fur would clog the spark plugs. But I digress...) then walking to the cash office. *clack* *clack* *clack* *spark* WOOF Hmm... ok, so maybe a dog rather than a tiger. But anyway. There's where they went. Actually, I think I remember that. A sudden increase of spontaneous garage combustions pinned on the steel foot decorations which were thereafter banned from public use. I wonder if you can still get them on the black market. Suicide Seggers could be marching towards your local BP station as we speak. Kind of like a martyr's version of Russian Roulette, never knowing if those sparks will set anything off or not. Oh, and while I'm on the subject of pointless things that make you look "cool", how about putting Calypso drinks cartons between the spokes on your bike so it made a "Vrrrrrrrrrrrm" noise when you pedalled? |
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I remembered I wanted to post about this a few days ago but I forgot. I was in Glasgow over the weekend and, as is a bad habit of mine, went into one of those cheap bookshops. Browsing the titles, I saw some amazing action figures hung up. Now, some of you will have received the Jesus Action Figure TV commercial piss-take I sent out on my junk mail list the other week. But hanging in front of me (reduced to £4 from £5) was a genuine Jesus Christ poseable figurine. Well, poseable in that you can move his arms up and down. Complete with "realistic gliding motion", or "two recessed wheels in the soles of his very large feet". After a bit of a search, I've found the gliding Jesus figure on the web for you all to admire, though I think the packaging's different for this one. Also worth a gander is the superb quality Black Jesus figure, star of the adventures of Li'l Black. Just pop to Google and search for "jesus action figure" for loads (far too many) more. |
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Wednesday, April 28, 2004 | |
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And it ain't just the speed cameras Hull council and Humberside police are even more desparate for your cash if you're a motorist. Not content with robbing you blind by putting nasty cameras everywhere, they're inventing novel ways of giving parking fines.In addition, a lad in the office just got a fine from Croydon. Apparently they caught him on CCTV (or his car anyway) being parked with one or more wheels on the kerb. As far as he can recall, this was to ask directions of a passer-by. Had he not mounted the kerb, he'd have blocked the traffic. This, though, would have been completely legal. Yes, winding up your fellow motorists is legal, while being considerate is not. The other thing that takes the piss is the fine - £80 rising to £120 if it's not paid within 28 days. That's £20 more rising to double that of a speeding ticket, though it doesn't result in penalty points on the license. What a joke. |
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Newcastle city centre today underwent a simulated "terror alert", being the first British city outside of London to undertake such a thing. The official reason, though unannounced, is in case a sudden gale appears and blows some of the smog from Middlesbrough too far north and we have to deal with its effects. | |
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Sunday, April 25, 2004 | |
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June's hotting up. I was tempted go to Download, but as I only want to see three of the acts (Machine Head, Slayer and Slipknot) and they're 3rd, 4th and 5th on the Sunday bill... it just doesn't seem worth it. £50 plus booking fee, travel, food and so forth for maybe 90 mins of actual music. Nah. Festival-wise, I am going to Leeds for the fourth year in a row. My only concern is, once again, wondering which Premiership game it will clash with. Last year was ManUre at home, which I obviously didn't want to miss. Season before it was Man City away - we found a pub 2 miles away showing the game on telly. Year before that was the home derby against the mackems. Like I'd have missed that! OK, so June. First off I have Elly visiting for a week, arriving on the Sunday I would have been going to Download if it hadn't been expensive and badly-organised. The following Saturday will be Deicide in Sheffield, and then Anthrax in Nottingham the following night. A week or so's break and then Fear Factory in Manchester. I really need to start working out again. Of course, not to forget the small matter of Euro 2004 over the month as well! |
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Thursday, April 22, 2004 | |
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Well, it seems after much uhmm-ing and aah-ing that Scottish and Newcastle are to close Newcastle Breweries and move production of my favourite beverage to The Federation Brewery in Gateshead. They recently shut down the Fountainbridge brewery in Edinburgh, which I thought was their last Scottish premises. Which begs the question - under current loopy EU regulations that say we can't have Cornish pasties unless their made in Cornwall, Cheddar cheese unless it's made in Cheddar, Jaffa Cakes unless they're made in Jaffe (probably)... does the company have to rename to "English and Gateshead" and change the infamous "Bottle of Dog" label to read "Gateshead Brown"? |
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As loads of people in the UK will know, Ron Atkinson "resigned" from his job with the ITV (and lost his column in the Guardian) after saying something he shouldn't have after Chelsea's Champion's League match on Tuesday. Basically, the microphone was left on, though the broadcast had finished in the UK, and viewers in the Middle East heard him comment on the lack of performance of Chelsea's Marcelle Desailly. According to The Sun, he said something along the lines of "fucking lazy big nigger". Ron's come out and said he's sorry blah blah blah, not intended to offend blah blah blah just an upset fan who wanted to see the team do well. OK, to some extent he has a point, as Desailly (and Chelsea as a whole) had a howler, but... What if he'd called Desailly a "fucking lazy big twat"? Would the furor have been quite so extreme? Somehow I think not. Don't get me wrong, I'm dead set against meaningless racism, which is quite difficult living in Bradford. The place suffers from a large contingent of Asians who seem intent on giving their people a bad reputation. Surely, though, Ron's choice of words was wrong but his intent was to insult the guy and get some frustration out of his system? This tails back to another of my personal niggles. Is "shit" really worse than "crap"? Is "crap" worse than "poo"? They're all words after all. Go back 10 years and "crap" would not be heard on TV. Now I even hear "shit" on daytime radio - a much more tightly-controlled medium in the UK. I love the politicians who are just crying "Think of the children! What about the children?" Have any of them walked past a playground in the last 5-6 years? Shit, even *my* ears start to burn. I even heard one whinging vote-grabber going on about the last "verbotten" word left being "cunt". Her worry, get this, was that if we run out of swear-words, people will no longer be able to take their frustration out verbally and what will they do then? So there you go. The rise in civil violence is down to TV and radio being more free with swearing. Social anarchy is all XFM's fault. But not Big Ron as he apologised for it and made swearing seem bad again. Good lad, Ron. Saving the world again. All I ask is that if we play like crap tonight, one of the commentators of a darker skin colour calls Laurent Robert a "useless, lazy honky". |
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Sunday, April 18, 2004 | |
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Very entertaining game in an audience participation kind of way. Not the result either team would have hoped for, but it was kind of ruined by one of the worst "refereeing" displays I have seen in many a month. Barry Knight is a tall guy and it seems his head is in the clouds, judging by some of the decisions he made. In the first half, bugger all went our way. In the second half, he seemed hell bent on making Villa's lives awkward. Maybe it's because he watched the videos and saw what a complete sack of bollocks his first half performance was. Consistency, to this man, only has meaning when discussing the thickness of custard and certainly not the way his decisions pan out. Vassell decides to make the most of some accidental contact and goes down like a felled tree. Andy O'Brien walks from the pitch. In the second half, a similar clash of personalities with the teams' roles reversed results in... erm... oh. Nothing. During one incident where Knight was trying to set up a Newcastle free kick, it was clear that the players had lost any respect for the man whatsoever. As he failed miserably to keep the Villa wall in place, Michael Bridges was judo-thrown to the ground (ok, twisted round the waist and shoved) by one of the Villa defenders. Despite the linesman seeing this, Knight didn't really bother with it setting instead for a quick word with both players. By which time, the Villa wall had moved forwards 3 yards. So he had to re-sort that... Shearer's challenge late on in the game, frankly, deserved a red. He got a yellow. Offside decisions were given against players (Shearer, more often than not) who were a man's-width behind the defensive line when the ball was played forward. All in all, a pitiful display. Not from the players, though. Both sides were very much up for this game as could be told by the challenges and rising tempers. Oh, and to the woman who shouted "Newcastle are shit" at me on the way out - we held you to a goalless draw after havign a player sent off. Just think what we'd have done with 11 men. One final point. Villa Park is the first ground I've ever been to where I've had my camera "refused admittance". They did a grand job of looking after it for me, and were very polite about the whole thing. All the same, there's nothing on the ticket saying I can't bring one, the only notification being right at the entrance by which time you've already got it with you. For crying out loud, it's a point and click digital camera. I'm hardly going to start competing with SkyTV and Mirror Group Newspapers, am I? |
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Saturday, April 17, 2004 | |
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If they're not leaving your driveway gates wide open when their car's safely not stored there, they're parking in said driveway so you can't get your car inside. And if it ain't that, it's leaving their bedroom windows wide open while they swap partners with two of their friends, one of whom is a screamer. I could hear every *slap*... Full details of their address and so forth are available on request. Sorry, but the selfish, lazy fuckers have pissed me off one too many times. Happy to help humiliate them now. I've had enough. Well, it's either that or I'm going to punch the lazy twats. |
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It arrived. Archetype. The new FF album. Oh wow. Sadly, I've not got the limited edition witha DVD (of which there are two, apparently), but I couldn't find anywhere selling it online. It's arrived 2 days before the release date, which is amazing from Play as their stuff normally takes an age to turn up. OK, I'm off into town now. And the CDs in the back of the car are getting changed... |
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Friday, April 16, 2004 | |
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'KIN' YYYYEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!! Fear Factory. Manchester. June 22nd. Tickets ordered.WOO-HOO! And I have the new album ordered, hopefully to arrive on Monday morning. I may skive off work to sit by the postbox. |
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Thursday, April 15, 2004 | |
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OK, the company we lease our cars from was very helpful and faxed me through a letter that's apparently good enough to get me number plates, along with my driving license for ID. You can't just walk into somewhere and buy one any more, you see. You need the vehicle log book and your driving license. Or passport and 2 recent utility bills. Or a DNA test. Or signed letter gifting your first-born to the management at the DVLC. Even if you're taking a car with numberplates attached to have replacement numberplates put on. I mean, how stupid is that? Anyway, I got the letter. Now I can't find anywhere that'll do numberplates! None of the major local garages to my house do them, and the place I was recommended to try is short of parts... he's awaiting a delivery of perspex. Good grief. I might just invest in some yellow and white paint and a black marker. At least nobody can unscrew that and pinch it. |
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Two new links (the first two) and the old ones again. I'd be grateful if you could click on each of them once. Then log onto a different PC and repeat the process. Then forward them all to your mates. Each unique click gets me 5 points and hopefully closer to a signed album! You don't have to do anything once the pages load - just clicking the link is enough. e-card Record shop Hi-def video Lo-def video Join the club Thanks! |
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Wednesday, April 14, 2004 | |
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The security guard on the site I was working at today pointed something out to me... my rear number plate is missing. I don't bloody believe this. The only thing saving me (possibly - they're taking their usual time over getting back to me) from a fine from South Wales Constabulary Christmas Piss Up Fund (a.k.a. the Speed Camera Nazis) is the fact that the number plate on the car caught down there looks nothing like mine. Now that number plate's been nicked off my car. I'm assuming it's been pinched as there's no damage round where it was, just a big mucky patch. Having said that, it looks like someone's had a go at the front one - it's been smashed. Still legible, though. Now, I have no idea when it was nicked. I can only assume sometime after Saturday, I think, as that was the last time I know I was round the back of the car, changing CDs. I always reverse into spaces at car parks, so the back's always hidden from view or I'd probably have noticed sooner. I now await a court summons for driving away from a petrol station for not paying or something equally stupid. Damn thing could have been nicked anywhere between here and Newcastle, I think. All I bloody need. Grr :( |
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Coming Soon - Single-Seat Cars With no stereos, timers that stop you after 2 hours until you've had a break and a limited top speed of 20 miles per hour. Oh, and completely shielded from all incoming and outgoing radio / mobile phone signals. Well, probably.According to another bloody study, it's now dangerous to listen to loud music, or music with a fast beat, in the car. Soothing sounds are better. So maybe all new cars will come with a radio pre-tuned to Radio 3 and the volume barely discernable. Obviously, sending drivers to sleep is safer than pepping them up with some decent tunes. So, we can't use our mobiles as that's dangerous. Despite the fact that a good way to fight fatigue is to talk to someone and we can't all carry a passenger all the time. Also, I've yet to figure out how using a mobile's more dangerous than talking to someone in the back seat and maintaining eye contact with them for half the time. We can't go faster than 70 on a motorway. Despite the fact that the Germans have no such speed limit and a much lower motorway accident rate. Now, we're not supposed to listen to loud music (although the number of times the story says it's a "nuisance to others" tells me they have ulterior motives). Despite the fact that "if music is above 60 beats per minute, listeners experience a faster heart rate and increased blood pressure" tells me that it would improve responsiveness and keep a driver alert. Well, until they ban it and start sending the police out with radio receivers and decibel meters I'll happily keep listening to Anthrax on full tilt. After all, the police don't have anything better to do with their time. Obviously, as they seem to quite happily waste it on their shiny cameras these days. Crime, simply, isn't an issue any more. Not when they can't make some cahs out of it anyway. And they say crime doesn't pay. Unless you're the accountant in charge of the speed camera crew. Yes, that old chestnut again. I'll shut up now. |
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Saturday, April 10, 2004 | |
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Things Americans Really Have To Apologise For OK, the US has given us some good things: Root beer, KFC, Buffy, Rich Hall, the money to make Lord of the Rings, and so on. On the other hand, there are many reasons why the country as a whole should bow its head in shame and mumble humble apologies and accept chastisement. This list contains a few of those. Feel free to email/comment and add more!
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Ain't it weird? Having a whole weekend to celebrate a bunch of Italians nailing some guy to a piece of wood for saying that maybe it would be nice if we were just all nice to each other for once? I heard an advert playing on Century FM East Midlands over the last few days for what sounds like a re-enactment in Leicester city centre. Sounds cool, though depends how good the special effects are. Apparently that Mel Gibson film is meant to be pretty harrowing. Basically two hours of some guy getting the shit kicked out of him. Sounds a bit dull, to be honest. I mean, even the old Arnie films have some semblance of plot, and often one more beliavable than a guy who can walk on water and cure leprosy by touching people. All that and the bible-bashers in the US go up in arms about a film involving a boy wizard... Erm... If want harrowing and eye-opening, something that makes you think of sacrifice and how you can ever repay the people involved... watch the opening 20 mins of Saving Private Ryan. At least that's based on a real, documented historical event. Mind you, full marks to Mr Gibson for making an adaptation of the world's best-selling fictional title without having to pay any royalties to the publishers. And it's foreign language, so he can edge for the "arty" vote as well as the adaptation thing for the Oscars. Smart guy. |
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Friday, April 09, 2004 | |
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BBC to screen first TV sperm race No, it's not April 1st any more. This seems to be genuine. Good grief. My license fee pays for this? As well as Andy's wages?Link: BBC News |
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Radar clocks Mini at Mach 3 speed And we think our speed camera nazis are bad. Get a load of the Belgian equivalent.Link: BBC News |
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Tuesday, April 06, 2004 | |
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OK, so David's allegedly had two affairs. I've seen a photo of one of them and she's a right dog. Mind, his taste in women obviously leaves a lot to be desired so that doesn't make her any less believable. Funny how he's meant to have had two affairs and Posh hasn't had any. Or is it? Maybe he is the only one stupid enough to sleep with her. |
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I've heard varying details relating to this story. Some say it's the Tories, some the current government. Some even that an automatic letter would be sent out fining you as soon as your insurance lapses. It's the last one that gets me. People change insurance brokers. They go from a personal to a company vehicle. They die. Sometimes insurance lapses for a reason. But it seems that they're going the same way with this as they are with "safety" cameras. Assume you're guilty first, scare the crap out of you with threats of court action or immediate fines and leave it up to you to prove you're innocent. Or dead. Whichever. Don't get me wrong - people driving with no insurance are selfish scum, but part of me does sympathise given the current extortionate rates. I had a quick shufty online the other night out of curiosity and found it would cost a smidgen under three grand to insure myself on my current company vehicle were it my own car. Three thousand pounds. Per year. What a joke. No wonder some people take the chance. Mind you, who is this scheme going to catch out (assuming they go for the "mail it to non-renewers" scheme)? Simple. Poor, innocent Joe Bloggs who's simply forgotten to renew his insurance. It can't catch the tossers driving around without it already as their insurance won't lapse - the system won't know that they need to be insured so it won't flag them. All in all, good idea. Punish them. More thought is needed, though, otherwise it's the poor innocents who'll get the thick end of the stick again. |
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Monday, April 05, 2004 | |
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On the road again the next few days. Unexpectedly off to the wilds of Shipley this afternoon (woo!), followed by a drive to London tomorrow afternoon. Working there on Wednesday and Thursday before skulking in the office on Good Friday. Isn't every Friday good? Compared to Mondays leastways. Monday and Tuesday off, then Blackburn on the Wednesday. Possibly Doncaster on the Thursday. Another London appointment on the following Wednesday. No wonder I never do any DIY at home. I'm never sodding there. Mind you, better busy than unemployed. Anyone need a half-decent computer engineer? Preferably someone paying silly money? Go on. I'm house-trained. |
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Saturday, April 03, 2004 | |
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Well, we kept the home form going with a decent performance (though dull in the early second half) against a fairly weak Everton side. You can read all the details of the game elsewhere as usual, but I'd like to pick out one player for a special mention: Tomas Gravesen. It's not often that opposition players get picked out for good reasons (except Henry, purely because he's bloody amazing). Gravesen, though, has shown sportsmanship above and beyond compared to far too many Premiership players this season, and a work rate to match. Last season, he put in a red-card challenge on Bernard at Goodison, but got away with it. In his defense, both he and manager were trying like mad to get the home team to kick the ball out of play so that Bernard could get treatment. Referee Neale Barry, however, knew better and waved play on until Everton got a penalty. I seem to recall that he even let the penalty be taken before allowing Bernard treatment. But Gravesen held back and didn't take ay part in the build-up of play after his tackle. He knew he'd done something wrong and didn't want to take advantage of it. On to today's match, then. Gravesen was all over the pitch. Up front, in defence, mucking in in midfield - much like a bulkier, balder Dyer. One moment that stood out, though, was when he was on the receiving end of a crunching challenge from Bramble. Titus won the ball, Gravesen flew through the air and crashed down on his shoulder. Many other players would have taken the opportunity to roll around, clutch their shin or in some other way try to halt play. Not Gravesen, Back on his feet within seconds and trying to win possession back. Quality, and more like the football we used to see before the bloody Europeans infested out leagues 20 or so years ago. For every skillful and hard-working player, there's one who'll fall to the ground if anyone so much as breathes near them. Everton should be proud to count Gravesen as firmly not in that camp. |
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Thursday, April 01, 2004 | |
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After wasting 4 hours yesterday, I had the system fall over after a comprehensive scan disk session today. Scan picked up *loads* of errors, and on rebooting, Windows kindly informed me that the security details were invalid and I'd have to reboot in safe mode. Which I couldn't do. The details that got scrambled were mine - i.e. the administrator's. So now that I've got back onto the system (reinstall over the top, seeing as I couldn't use "Repair" due to the password being lost) I have a load of stuff stuck in locations I can't get to. Or at least I did until | |